I don’t know what to feel

Today was a day of emotional extremes. It is our last day in this amazing country, and we seemed to go from awesome highs to heart-breaking lows in an instant.

The day started with a trip up the mountain side to do some important filming with Adrian, Bridget and Ada Milca. The views stretched far and wide as the city rolled itself out like a bustling carpet below us. It gave us a feeling of the bigger picture – that the work that the team here are doing so tirelessly fits into this wide arching journey that one day brings about a San Salvador with no street children.

However, from these great possibilities, we ventured out in the evening to meet some of the children who are actually living on the street.

At the moment, the network is in its very earliest stages, and so far, there isn’t a full time street educator to head up the training and coordination of the street work. You might think that this means there is no street work – well you would be wrong. Members of a Church called ‘Iglesia Zacamil’ go out twice a week (on Thursdays and Fridays) to areas of the city to distribute food and to talk to the children living on the streets. These are dangerous areas, and ones we (gringos) wouldn’t consider going to by ourselves. However, in the company of the Church volunteers, we went to the centre of the city to help with their activities.

Having seen many photos in the Toybox office and having heard stories from the street teams across Latin America, I thought I would have some idea of what I might find, but I must confess, I was not ready for the what I saw. As we neared the square, the children were huddled in a group, some standing, some sitting, but all with their backs to the road, clustered round something that had caught their attention near the monument in the centre of the square. As the vehicles arrived and stopped, the Church team got out ahead of us. There was a moment of realisation from some of the smaller children, and the volunteers suddenly found themselves the recipients of enormous, all encompassing hugs from two or three of the smaller boys. It was an amazing thing to see, and something I hadn’t expected straight away, but it was clear from the outset that these children recognised and were waiting for the visit from the team.

As we made our way into the square more faces appeared from all corners and alleyways, and as the food was handed out, the word went round that the team had come, so more children and young people arrived to collect their meal. There was a great range of ages of children, from probably about 7 up to 17 with a couple of adults who kept themselves to themselves. The leader of the group was very unsure about the cameras and kept far away from them, but allowed us to film and take pictures in the end.

The glue wasn’t immediately apparent, but as the minutes passed I saw more and more bottles being clutched by various hands, and once I started talking to some of them, it was clear that many if not all of them were high from the little bottles they kept in their pockets, or under their T-shirts. I sat chatting to a few of them, but one boy told me a bit about why he lives on the streets, and it did surprise me.

He said he does have a home and a family, but he chooses to live and sleep on the street. He says his mother and his two brothers work, but they always fight. He doesn’t sleep at home because he finds the streets safer. This startled me, and I asked him why. He said the fighting was too much, so he stays out on the streets rather than go home. He didn’t want to say much more about home, but he did have a significant scar on his left cheek, and I wondered if the fighting had ever been directed at him. He said he has been living on the streets for the last 7 years. He doesn’t go to school and when I asked him what he did all day, he simply said he wanders the streets. He seemed very coherent in comparison with some of the other boys, but then he reached into his pocket and pulled out a glue bottle, which he inhaled from. As he turned to look back at me, I saw his eyes glaze over as the glue made its effect known.

Having returned to our hotel, all of us were struggling with what we had seen. So many little faces and lots of “when are you coming back?”. The way that they responded to us had been gloriously child-like – insisting on Steve lifting each one of them up so they could enjoy his height, giving us more than one goodbye hug, waving and running after us to see us into the van – they are so young. And yet, they are living lives that should not have to be endured by children – or by anyone.

Even now, I don’t know how to conclude tonight, or even whether I can. My comfort is that I know the Church team will be going out again tomorrow night, and again next week, and the week after that, to continue showing the children that they care about them, showing them that they are special and showing them that even though many of their families and others may have turned their backs on them, there are still those willing to meet with them and spend time with them. Please pray for those children living on the streets of San Salvador, that they may have some comfort tonight.

So ends our time here

It has been simply incredible. When I think back to all we have seen and have experienced – the amazing people we have met who are working so tirelessly to see real change in their own communities and indeed across the capital city. We have been greatly challenged, inspired and even more determined to continue working towards a world with no street children. Having seen this work for ourselves, we know one day, with Gods help, it will be.

Thank you for joining us on our journey.

Jess and the team

“Love is all the motivation we need to do the work we do”

We spent today in the markets of San Salvador. The sentence just rolls off the tongue as if we had been to some out of town shopping centre to pick up a few things. The reality of the San Salvador markets is very different.

Our focus was on a project called ‘Pana’ which is not a literal spanish translation, but in the traditional languages of Central America means ‘friend’. Pana is simply an amazing project filled with truly incredible people. On our arrival, we found the team sitting around some very large desks surounded by folders stuffed with many pages of information. I found myself wondering if I was back in old Blighty again – the level of organisation and filing was awesome, and quite unusual for Latin America! It turns out, this project has a file for each child that it comes into contact with, and given that there are currently 170 children on its books, this was no mean feet!

Pana works with children who work alongside their parents in the main central market in San Salvador. These are children who very often do not attend school, and who spend whole days, and even nights in the market. Most of the children are with their mothers – their fathers having left, or often, not known by the children. Those who do attend school do so in either the morning or the afternoon, the rest of their day being spent on the market stall with their mother. This is no life for a child, especially when a lack of education means that they will never really be able to fullfill their full potential.

This is where Pana comes in. Pana is headed up by a brilliant guy called Pastor Carlos de la Rosa. Carlos is a man of vision, of passion and a man who firmly believes in practicing what he preaches. If there is work to do, Carlos is the first to get his hands dirty and do something about it. This not only makes him a great leader, but a great inspirer as well, something that is clearly seen by the number of volunteers from the Church who work so tirelessly with the children. From a congregation of only 150, they are meeting with 170 children 3 times a week… The effect that Pastor Carlos’ ‘leading by example’ method has is just amazing.

Carlos explained all the admin that was going on at our arrival. The team takes a record of each of the children in their care, and they note down various things about the child’s situation and any change in circumstances. The thing that we found the most interesting was a brightly coloured chart in each of the files with various stickers on it. Carlos and his team told us that each child is given a sticker for for things every week – attendance, cleanliness, behaviour and participation. A certain number of stickers means that the child is given a reward. Now this is the ingenius bit – the rewards come in the form of ‘Panadollars’ – a $1 bill that is redeemable in the Church cafe, just around the corner from the market. Rather than simply giving handouts, the children earn their treats and it gives them something to work for. The team told us that these children know the value of money – they work with it every day. They are quick with currency and feel comfortable in that kind of situation. Therefore by using the Panadollar as the reward for good behaviour etc, the team are simply reaching the children where they are now, rather than trying to make the children come outside of their comfort zones before they can work with them. We each have a Panadollar to remind us of the day…

The team of keen volunteers were asked what it was that motivated them to be a part of the work of Pana. This is what some of them said: “Love is all the motivation we need to do the work we do”. Another said “I had similar experiences as a girl so I want to help them because I know what their suffering is”. Another volunteer said “My motivation is the need that I see the children have – not only love, but teaching. Some 15 year olds don’t even know how to write their own name.” Another said “I think of my own children. When I come here and see children who don’t have a home and I see their capacity to love, it makes me want to give them the same opportunities as my own children have.”

Pana is working with 10-15% of all the children working on the market. They told us that they are working with 5 families who actually live there at the market itself. They reckon there are 5o families in total who are permenant residents of the market place. 50 families who have no real home to speak of and who find shelter under the tables of their stall. Others sleep there occasionally – sometimes because they haven’t sold enough to afford the bus fare home. Other times they sleep there because certain fruit or vegetable is in season so they are starting to sell very early in the morning (5/6am) and then stay until 8pm at night – they see no point in going home if they have to return in only a few hours time.

Pana’s main purpose is to try and improve the quality of life for these market children through schooling, educational games, family support, teaching about hygiene and children’s rights and by simply showing the children and their mothers that they care about them – that they want to help them improve their situations.

Our forray into the market place took us through many alleyways and closed in, very tight little passages – the taller members of our group were constantly ducking and weaving to avoid hitting their heads. There was always a distinctive smell – it seems to be banana season at the moment, so the smell of rotting bananas penetrated everything – the air, the people, the puddles in the mud on the ground. We saw every type of person there, from the very old selling a small handful of fruit to the very young offering an oversized tray of sweets to passersby. There was music blaring from every corner and battered old TV screens showing pirate copies of films that haven’t yet come out on DVD. Every now and then a waft of freshly made soup, or fried chicken would pass us by, only to be obliterated by the powerful smoke coming from the exhausts of the buses rushing past.

In some ways it was a really exciting place to be – always something going on to watch or someone rushing past, the various colours of fruit to admire, or new tastes to try. In other ways, seeing children as young as 7 or 8 manning a vegetable stall, and seeing their cardboard beds underneath the vegetables, it was a horrible place to be. Yet there is light in those dark passages. The Pana team go in 3 times a week, meeting with the children, both at their stalls, and in various gatherings where they play games, sing songs, learn their ABCs or numbers, and of course, earn their Panadollars.

We were really amazed by the work of the Pana team, with Pastor Carlos leading the way. They were all greeted by so many of the stall holders – they were respected and seen as friends by the mothers, and as much loved Uncles and Aunts by the children. It is a place of danger – certainly for us ‘Gringos’, but the work of Pana with these precious children seems to be above all of that, almost immune to it, allowing these special relationships to be built day by day, children taught about their rights and their potential, and Gods wonderful, child-like Kingdom to come in the markets of San Salvador.

Postscript
Adrian asked Pastor Carlos what his preaching style was. It seems a man who practices what he preached must have some special technique or manner that has such an impact on his congregation. Pastor Carlos replied with this: “I preach to the virtue of the congregation, and let God look after the rest…”

Today was tough

This was for a number of reasons. To start with, the heat today was almost unbearable – it is lovely as long as there is a breeze, but in most places we were today, there was no breeze. The problem with the heat is that it saps all your energy and makes doing anything an extra effort, especially when directly under the sun. We were all reeling a bit by 1pm!

Our day started with a visit to a group of three homes called ‘Orphan Helpers’. These homes provide a safe, caring environment for children and young people who have been living on the streets, or who have come from violent or dangerous situations. The first of the homes we went into was for boys who have been living on the street, have been involved in gangs or who cannot be with their families. The buildings are large, spacious places with various areas that the boys can use for time together, for lessons, for playing or for simply being in when they need some space. We had a lovely guide – a boy of 15 years old who lives in the home. He has had quite a history – heavy gang involvement, but then when he tried to leave, they started making things very nasty for his family. Having fled various places, they kept coming after him – even under pseudonyms, changes of location and physical appearance, the gangs kept coming back for him, threatening his life and the lives of his family. He told us that it got so bad he even tried to take his own life. That’s a lot to take for a 15 year old boy.

I would love to say more about him – to tell you more details, like his name for a start, but every day this young man gets up and leaves the home to go to school. All the way there he is thinking that today may be the day they find him. I can’t even begin to imagine what that must be like – to live in fear every day. We can’t tell you his name because there is the outside chance they may be searching for him online. But even with that hanging over his head, he is so brave, so lively, so full of humour and friendliness. It was so humbling, I still can’t get my head round it. That a boy like that, with such joy and potential should have to live in fear. It seems so unjust.

We then went down the road to another of the homes that make up ‘Orphan Helper’ – this second home is for young mothers. The girls here – and they really are just girls range from 11 years old to 19 years old. The oldest that any of them was when they gave birth was 15. The youngest was 10. I found myself imagining what that would be like – I’m currently 27 and that would be like me having a 16 year old daughter. I simply can’t get it straight in my mind. It made me so sad to see these girls with their babies and children. They were acting like children, chattering away, running around, going from one extreme of emotion to another, giggling like schoolgirls – they didn’t seem like mothers at all. Their minds are still children, yet their bodies have produced babies in the same way as women twice their age.

The thing that makes it saddest of all is that 80% of the girls there are victims of sexual abuse. Most of them became pregnant as a result of this. The reason they are living in the home is because they have been thrown out by their families, or simply don’t have a family to be with. Some of the girls have been abused by their step fathers, then thrown out of the house by the step father and the mother, who has chosen to ignore or turn a blind eye to what’s been going on… It’s just heartbreaking. But all is not sadness – fair enough the girls were too young to have a baby, but at the same time, they are intensely proud of their children, and they do completely adore them. It was lovely to see the children with their mums, but I couldn’t help but wonder where the justice is. A difficult road to go down when questioning God’s purpose in all of this – especially when the girls have not chosen or had any control over their situations…

At lunchtime we went over to a project called ‘Fundacion Amor’ (Love Foundation). This is a fun, bubbly, manic place simply stuffed full of children – shouting, running, skipping – doing everything that children should be doing. A staggering contrast to the previous visit. The project is a day centre for children from the area who are at high risk of taking to the streets. They are from very poor families, single parent families, and children whose parents are out working for much of the day. They come in the morning, and then half of them go to the next door school in the morning whilst the others stay at the project. They all have lunch together, and then the other half go to afternoon school while the rest stay at the project.

We arrived just before lunchtime so had the opportunity to see all the children. The project is running at maximum capacity so it was quite a squeeze! For some reason the children at this project seem to have developed an almost super-strength ability for skipping. Yes, you read it correctly – skipping. The speed with which they whipped the rope round was amazing, but what was more impressive was the speed of the person jumping the rope – you had to see it to believe it! The heat was at its strongest at this point so it was with a little concern that we finally gave in to the children’s requests for us to join in the skipping competition! It was a delight to see such child-like children who are able to really enjoy their childhood. Many of them told us about how much they enjoy school, and what their favourite subjects are. Certainly a very refreshing change from some comments from UK children! Education is so valued and worked at here, its lovely to see children fulfilling their potential.

Our final visit of the day was to a project that is the furthest distance from the city centre and is called ‘Fundacion Exodo’. This is a residential project for children who have been referred by a judge because their living situations are too dangerous, those who have suffered abuse and have had to be removed from their homes, or for those who have been living on the streets and have been referred from there. It was just an incredible place – it was so quiet and peaceful – we could see how this place provided a great sanctuary for the children living there. The project is on its way to becoming self-sustainable, with a large vegetable and fruit garden at the back which all the children tend as part of their time there, as well as a large chicken coop to provide eggs and meat for the children. On site is the start of a bakery, although they don’t yet have all the necessary equipment to begin producing bread full scale. This will not only provide the children with food, but also the means of training in bread-making for the future.

It was clear with some of the children there that they have had really tough times in their past, especially some of the younger boys, but the homes provide a family based support network which is enabling them to move forward, both in educational terms and in social situations.

Today was very long, and we’re all feeling quite tired, but it was a really great day (in terms of experience, rather than necessarily enjoying every second). These are such precious children, many who have had such unjust things done to them. I can’t help but wonder what my life would have been like if I had been born in El Salvador – the things I would have experienced, the situations I may have found myself in. Even though I know and trust that our creator God has a plan for us all, I find myself wondering if there is a birth-place lottery that determines whether you have a full childhood, or a life of fear, violence and injustice? I know there are answers out there somewhere. I have yet to find them though…

Jess and the team