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Refuge day - joy, sadness and hope in Cochabamba
October 10th, 2011
by
Ben Nolan
We arrived in Cochabamba on Saturday after a 7.5 hour coach journey that felt, if possible, even longer than that. The landscape was incredible though – for 6 hours we barely saw any evidence of civilisation – just arid landscape as far as you could see. Cochabamba is a bit lower, much warmer, and infinitely nicer than La Paz – there is clearly more wealth here, which if anything made the contrast with some of the children we saw even more stark.
One boy of about 14 sticks in my mind – in tatty jeans and t-shirt he was sitting on the grass on a roundabout, clutching at his arms and rocking backwards and forwards. His eyes were glazed over, staring into the distance, and he was completely in his own world. It was bizarre, and very sad.
Sunday – refuge day!
Wow, so Sunday was quite a day. It’s been like nothing I could have imagined, I hope I can do it justice:
After church (we were introduced as “the three brothers from Toybox”: I quite like the ring to it) it was time to visit the refuge! The refuge was set up by Toybox in 2009 as a temporary safe house for children who are referred there because it’s not safe for them to live at home; or they’ve run away to the street, or for whatever reason they no longer have a family that can take care of them. The aim is for kids to spend around a year there – getting intense psychological and educational help, while the refuge also works with the family if possible – before moving them to foster care or ideally, back to a now safe family.
The children met us outside of church and eyed us up with both curiosity and suspicion. There are 11 kids currently at the refuge, ranging in age from 8ish to 16. Andrew was quickly a favourite as he showed off his Spanish. When they realised our lack of Spanish they quickly switched into English to help us – “hello”, “goodbye”, “she is a monkey”, “baseball” were repeated excitedly to us. We split kids and grown-ups to go to the refuge – of course I was designated as the “kid” of the group and in I squeezed to a minibus full of excited children.
For the next 15 minutes I was relentlessly teased about everything from my blonde hair (it needed a cut), to my lack of Spanish (although they were impressed by the few German phrases I reeled off), and also for my lack of talent (you can’t sing OR dance??).
The refuge is a really impressive building, hidden behind a tree and extending upwards for 4 or 5 floors. We milled around inside and I chatted to some of the kids. The language barrier was becoming less of an issue – I made it quite clear I wasn’t going to give up trying to understand them, and the children took to the challenge with relish – miming and shouting to the leaders for help with particular words.
There’s so much to say about the rest of the day, so I’m just going to pick a few of my favourite memories, I hope you enjoy them.
Justin Bieber. I happen to have a fake Justin Bieber driving licence in my wallet (don’t ask). One of them was singing a Bieber song so I showed it to the group. They huddled round, and then a stunned silence settled on the group. Was Justin Bieber actually here!? My smile unfortunately gave the game away, and 15-year-old Kevin confided in me that he was very relieved that I wasn’t Justin.
Question and answers. We sat in a big group after lunch, each child told us who they were and welcomed us to the refuge. We were then invited to ask whatever we wanted. There were some fantastic answers. We had 4 or 5 wanted to be Doctors when they grew up, and a sprinkling of budding teachers. When asked what their prayer was for the children of the world – several said they wanted to see more love (or failing that a bicycle each!)
The presentations. The children had made incredible A3 cards and had each written what they liked about the refuge. They proudly read out:. “I like that there are people that care for me, I like that I feel safe, I like that I have so many friends, I like the food, I like that I know I am important.” It was difficult not to well up when we were each presented with one individually.
Colouring! 15-year-old Kevin and Wilbur had adopted me as theirs, and both separately presented me with pictures. Kevin insisted that I attempt one in return. My attempt at a Meetoo (a cat-like Pokemon) was truly awful – although they insisted it was “bonita” (beautiful) – whilst barely supressing giggles. I was quickly roped into providing more pictures. I was quite proud of my Minnie Mouse which I presented to 16-year-old Felicita.
There is just so much love and so much hope in each of these children.
We were literally plied with gifts at every opportunity. 9-year-old Beatriz made me eight different sized origami boats, we were given beautiful arts and crafts that must have taken days to make, we were constantly getting hugged. What was so heart-breakingly sad though was what these children had each been through:
15-year-old Vicente had severe burns all over his face and body from a kitchen accident when he was younger. His dad had gone to prison and his mum had walked out – leaving his older brother to take care of him. He wasn’t able to - it seemed they had often ended up sleeping on the street and he had dropped out of school.
13-year-old Natalia was very quiet and withdrawn. She had been there just 2 months. She had been rescued from a child trafficking ring in Argentina, no-one was sure where her parents were.
Kevin’s dad had physically abused him. Most of the children there had been subjected to some kind of abuse – often from family members. They ended up here because their own family wouldn’t protect or believe them.
It’s just not fair. No child should have to go through these kinds of things. Being surrounded by children with so much love and affection, I was just humbled by it. Completely blown away by the strength that they had and the change that had been brought to them by the people and security of the refuge.
Leaving, it was tough not to cry. I know I should be so pleased that these children have got this opportunity in a place that is so well run – but my overriding feeling is of sadness. I’m not really sure how to end this, so I guess I’ll do so with a prayer.
I pray for all the children at the refuge, I give thanks for the amazing work that is going on there. And I pray that one day it will not be needed.
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